What is my Deal?

So here I was, 13 hours ago, saying that I wasn't having any problems (at the time) with SSA...HA! I think that from here on out, I'll never say that again, for fear of jinxing myself. I was doin' okay...and then curiosity crept in...and I certainly didn't slam the door...didn't even freaking shut it. We'll just say that 2 words, concidered 'hush-hush' subjects in the LDS church, pornography and masturbation, a dangerous couple, have decided to come knocking...bah.











I need to take things day by day...need to say "I'm not going to mess up today, or anytime this week." That's how I survived before...kept setting up waypoints for myself, and then running with them...and for the most part, I succeeded amazingly well. I guess I've never really had the porn aspect thrown into my blender. I need my best friend to dare me to do better, is what I need. He's been kind of out of contact for the past few days...not online, haven't tried calling his phone, because I'm horribly awkward on the phone...I need to be under more watchful eyes, it feels like. Were I back at school, he'd have me under his watchful eye, and things'd be a bit safer...that and I'd have the reassurance of being able to wake him up in the middle of the night, and tell him that I'm feeling tempted. I just thank God that I'm not attracted to him in the least bit...it might be awkward, him being my best friend and all...heck, it's happened in the past...whatever.

Changed my meds from Zoloft to Lexipro today...wooo...

So I got a call back from a place that I applied at here in town. It'll be nice, because I'll be able to do ceramics...something that I love to do. Wish me luck on my interview on Monday! And pray that I don't get taken out by a meteor or something before I can repent of all this crap...gosh, I'm horrible.
Speaking of meteors, I saw a wierd light in the southern sky, as I was driving home from institute tonight...it was wierd! It was way too bright to be a star or satellite...very interesting.