Thursday, June 12, 2008

Know your Menu.

Surprise, surprise! It's time for a depress-ed/ing blog post!

Today has been absolute rubbish, and I'm at home, lonely, waiting for roommates to get home, so I don't feel so crappy...having people around usually makes me feel better...

Let's recap the last 5 hours, shall we?

-4:45pm, get to work, clock in, realize that I'm still wearing my street shoes (Adidas sambas)...and I had forgotten my work shoes (which are now sitting on the floor to my right). I had meant to throw them in my bag with all my other shit, but was in a rush to catch my bus, so I failed. I was working dinner tonight (and that means I have to be all extra fancy, bla bla bla) shoes looked fucking ridiculous.

-5:15pm, two of my managers ask me about my shoes...I apologize, and feel like an asshole. They just remodeled our restaurant, and our mantra has been "100% on the ball, 100% of the time." The shoes brought me to about 70%. Not good enough. I realize, at this point (as I'm starting to panic slightly) that I don't know anything on the Dinner menu. "When are we supposed to be having a tasting for all the dinner items?" I ask. "That happened on Tuesday, where were you?"


-5:30pm, I ask Cathy for a hug because I'm feeling like shit. Keep in mind that up to this point, since about a month after being hired, I've been doing spectacularly at this job...not only did I let work down, I feel worse because I let MYSELF down. How's that for good old-fashioned Mormon guilt?

7:15pm, We're (relatively) slow, and due to my un-knowledge of the menu, I get sent home...this is fantastic. I call Handsome, because I'm in a "Can I come over, I feel like shit, and I want somebody to hold me" mood...but, he's got a deadline due tomorrow for work...IE he's pulling ANOTHER all-night-er.

I could focus on the bright side right now, but I haven't let my depression have its way with me in a good long couple of months (I know, you're thinking that sounds ridiculous). I'm past the point of wanting to cry (I really should have taken that opportunity...I haven't had a good cry in a long time). Now I'm just lonely. And feeling defeated. And feeling inadequate.


Blogger pinetree said...

Bah, this is the kind of depression that passes relatively quickly. It doesnt even touch eternal turmoil sort of depression like you had before. Cheer up. Go eat some some ice cream.

13 June, 2008 01:49


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