Nothing We Can Do...
There isn't anything I can do for her...she has severe problems, the likes of which are out of HER hands, and I can't put back the pieces...even if I didn't scatter them.
An extremely good friend of mine...well...to put it bluntly, a few months ago, was raped...now she's 3 months pregnant, she just found out Monday...and I thought MY world was a mess.
It kills me because, belligerantly, I kept on trying to get ahold of her, via phone, or text message, or IM, never taking the time to leave a voicemail message, or anything logical like that, and tonight I come to find just WHY there's been avoidance between the two of us...it's not anything that I did...it's this town, where she goes to school. She just needed to get out, and get back home (about 5 hours car drive away). I feel like such an ass for being so pushy and overbearing.
I gave her what few words of consolement that I could, but nothing is going to be able to comfort her in this time...she has an important decision to make, and the resulting reprocussions are something that nobody should have to deal with...she has a baby that she doesn't want, and can't take care of, due to school. This friend is fiercely independant, and the 'ball and chain' of such a monumental responsibilty so young in life, is something that would severely weigh down her potential.
As of late, I've kind of given up on prayer...I don't feel like God listens to me...yeah, I go to church, and hang out with the kids from the Singles Branch, but, really, I'm just going through the motions...I've got personal issues that I feel distance me from God...why would he listen to me? He hasn't in the past, and now that I've put more space between the two of us, what right do I have to be heard?
I'm going to try to give it a shot, though. I'm not important enough to be heard, but this friend is...whether it be via proxy, or not, she deserves to have some divine comfort.
She, sadly, is in the same spiritual boat as I am...why would a loving, just, and merciful God ever allow one of his beloved sons to be plagued with Same Sex Attraction? His daughters to be raped, and impregnated against her will, carrying with her the constant reminder of other people's ill use of free will? There are times when I almost wish that the adversary's plan hadn't fallen through, and that we'd all be forced to be perfect...it seems easier in the longrun.
There I go, spouting off heretical nonsense....
posted by Peculiar 'Mormon' at 3:07 AM
4 Comments:
im going to tell you the same thing that you told me, prayer is essential. do it often. i totally know what you mean about feeling like God doesnt wanna listen. i'm not going to pretend like im perfect things, or that i pray like all the time, because i dont but i know that it helps. - as for your friend, i can somewhat relate. im not a female, so i didnt get pregnant, but it is hard, dealing with things. i guess that the most you could do is be there for her. and let her know how much you love her. that helps me get through things...
29 August, 2005 04:27
I used to be very depressed, and I thought just like you do now. Why would God love me? why would he answer my prayers? why is this happening to me, if he loves me why doesn't he take my burdens away? I don't know why these things happen to people who are simply trying their best, but one thing I know for sure now is that God loves us more than we can imagine and he will take care of us. Sometimes it seems as though our prayers our not answered (this is something that I struggle with often) but I have come to realize over time that God has always looked down on me and shown me his love, whether or not I choose to recognize the signs for what they are. Everything will work out. Our only obligation is to do the best we can with what is thrown out at us, and trust God and his amazing plan to work out the rest. I don't mean to belittle yours or your friends trials, I know I can't even imagine the capacity of the difficulty of each of your situations, but I do know that Jesus Christ understands, and he will not leave you alone in this.
29 August, 2005 18:46
When you feel like giving up on prayer I've found is when you need to pray the most. I understand the feeling of God not listening, and sometimes things seem unfair. But everything happens for a reason I always say. Everything is in Gods will and he knows what hes doing. Never give up on prayer, and never give up being a supportive friend. God listens to everyone even though sometimes it doesn't seem that way, he does.
31 August, 2005 00:32
I too, have tread through the same dark thoughts as you. Wondering why, why am I not loved, why am I so alone? I stopped praying, I stopped reading the scriptures, I stopped caring about what I did, or where I went in life.
But you know what, if someone as imperfect as I, who's screwed up so much and has been so rebellious and has such pride in my heart, if even I can love you for who you are, then why can't Heavenly Father? Surely I am not a greater person than him to be able to want to help you and to listen to your struggles. If I am capable of feeling love and compassion towards you, then how much greater does God?
If you still don't know the answer, then how well do you know God?
01 September, 2005 12:52
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