Elaborate Waiting Game
Life, as I now know it, is nothing more than an elaborate waiting game. Waiting for thirty...the ten-years-from-the-destruction-of-my-so-called-life mark. It's January 18, 2016 when things might actually wrap up.
I actually went to church today. I was freaking out...had to consciously stop myself from tensing up while I sat there. That's the only way I know that I know it's not all in my head...that unconsciously i was freaking out.
I walked home.
I found myself closing my eyes as I crossed the crosswalk, muttering to myself "please hit me, please hit me, please hit me."
I'm a mess. Admitting it is the first part of the problem right? Well, I've got alot of luggage.
posted by Peculiar 'Mormon' at 8:14 AM
5 Comments:
Hope church wasn't so bad. And it's good to hear from the old Suicide King. I love ya man, college sucks... haven't been to church but once since I've started, so busy with school and working at Lloyd Center. But meh, life goes on... wish you'd e-mail me... I have so much I'd love to talk to you about...
your lil sis,
Angelomint
09 October, 2006 00:10
you finally posted- I miss your posts.....I can definately relate to the crosswalk bit - I used to and in rare occasions think that way - how easy would that make things to just get hit - but no...that is so awesome that you went to church -I totally smiled when I read that - so thanks for making me smile! thats one of the best gifts you can give somebody ;)
09 October, 2006 09:48
Hey Friend. I love you bro. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
11 October, 2006 20:20
Glad to see you back!
13 October, 2006 19:16
Don't you dare get hit!! We've never kissed! We must kiss before either of us dies. And since who knows when that will be, come kiss me right now. Just for kicks. My boyfriend won't mind, he knows you're "family." Good thing he's not a jealous man, I can still get some from my best gay man. Hugs and kisses, dahling! Kudos for taking a risk by going to Church, and I don't want you to ever get hit by a car.
22 October, 2006 23:58
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