posted by Peculiar 'Mormon' at 3:20 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
About Me
- Name: Peculiar 'Mormon'
- Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
I've decided to leave this blog up as a means of sorting through my thoughts...you just so happen to be along for the ride if you're reading...I don't update so often, but a recent want to re-blog has inspired me to revamp things. So here's my problem: I'm gay, and I come from a Mormon family...I don't practice anymore, but still have a great deal of respect for the church. I tried serving a mission...It's a funny thing, my mission. I received my mission call in late Feb. '05, to Bulgaria, reported in May, and came home in July (all 2005), on "medical grounds," but that's only a part-truth...I came home because I couldn't handle the feeling of hypocrisy in telling people what to believe, when I wasn't sure I believed it anymore. It's only now, three years later, that I've reconciled my feelings of depression, have finally come out of the closet, and decided to live life with some dignity, and do it as happily as I possibly can...and I'll tell you: I'm doing pretty well so far.
Previous Posts
- I'll be Honest
- Blue-Black Eyes and Dead-man's Neckties
- Once Again, I Get the Shaft
- Tilt
- And Now I Reallize Why
- I keep making this to-do list, but nothing gets cr...
- So For Now, I'm Alive
- I'd Rather not be Brought Here
- Karma?
- And Things Will Work Out in the End
BLOGS I follow
Links
A sugalicious template.
6 Comments:
Please don't give up. And please don't hurt yourself. You need to talk to a therapist or a counselor as soon as you can. If you have to, get yourself to the emergency ward of the hospital and explain to them what is going on. They will help.
I know things really hurt, that you feel like you can't tke any more. I have been there. It is terrible. But things can get better, much better! I am not saying that it will be easy, or that you will feel better instantly. It takes time and work. But you can do it.
When I was going through the worst of my depression, I got through it by just telling myself, all you have to do is get through the next five minutes. Or you just have to get through until tonight when you will talk to your parents on the phone. And it was hard, really hard, but I got through it. I eventually saw a therapist, started medication, and I can say I have had 3 years without any relapse. I am happy, my life is good. I know you can make it, too. Again, it will take time, but you can do it, and your life really can and will be beautiful and happy and worthwhile.
So, don't give up, and get help NOW.
04 June, 2006 05:55
HAPPY PRIDE DAY!!!!!
and keep it up!:D
04 June, 2006 19:55
Mark is right, please don't give up, and get help if you need it to get through a crisis. The emergency room is certainly appropriate for an emergency, or you can call 911. There is probably a suicide prevention number in your local phone book, too.
Bad periods do come to an end eventually, and although it takes time, life looks very different when you're not depressed. My experience is that you're a much better person than you think you are during the bad times, partly because it's hard not to be negative then, and partly because your ability to deal with life the way you'd like to is really impaired. But fundamentally, you are ok, and you'll do fine when you are healthy. So take care of yourself so you can get better, and don't be too hard on yourself in the meantime.
I hope things are going at least a little better than when you posted.
04 June, 2006 23:04
E-MAIL ME OR MSN ME DARNIT!!!
If you want someone, anyone who is willing to listen to you all through the night, you know I'm garunteed! Give me another chance darlin, you are still my big bro and you DON'T need to follow me down THIS particular path of darkness... you know that I can teach you THAT much at least... Cutting is a VERY slipperly slope.
Living_In_Intelectual_Stupidity@hotmail.com
And for the love of the savior, if you have his msn email PLEASE give it to me! I need to talk to this boy! Goodness gravy!
05 June, 2006 00:15
there is this postsecret that i didnt save and i wish i had.
it had an hollow empty room and the words scribbled: "we could have saved... each other"
and then i said to myself
self:
theres no reason for us to be both sobbing every night alone.
no need to wear glasses the next day so no one will see our puffy eyes.
no need to find our only comfort in the mumblings of sigur ros and godspeed you black emperor.
i may not be as strong as you think. is that ok? and i may understand more than you realize. is that ok? we are all people after all. we all relate to the same postsecrets. we all hurt excruciatingly. we all feel the hole… yours may be bigger than mine… maybe not. probably, but both are holes. and neither of us know how to fix them.
you know how they say that two brilliant minds make the work go twice as fast? and you know how those two brilliant minds said that two negatives make a positive? well, im not much of a math worshiper, but if i do the calculations correctly, one brilliant mind times two negatives equals a positive. multiply that twice for the other brilliant mind and you’ve got TWO positives. that’s six more points than when you started with the four negatives. what im trying to say is that we “negative balanced” beings could pull out of this heist with triple the bank we went into it with. in other words, we could work. but then again, im stark raving mad.
“all it takes
to keep the average human being out
is a closed door”
ill cry with you.
ill ache alone with you
ill want to sleep forever with you.
ill feel like a shadow on an endless road with you.
and then maybe
just maybe
we’ll open the damned door.
maybe.
five letters were never so profane.
05 June, 2006 00:25
Did you see the helping hand I tried to draw you?
23 June, 2006 18:36
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