Nothing We Can Do...
There isn't anything I can do for her...she has severe problems, the likes of which are out of HER hands, and I can't put back the pieces...even if I didn't scatter them.
An extremely good friend of mine...well...to put it bluntly, a few months ago, was raped...now she's 3 months pregnant, she just found out Monday...and I thought MY world was a mess.
It kills me because, belligerantly, I kept on trying to get ahold of her, via phone, or text message, or IM, never taking the time to leave a voicemail message, or anything logical like that, and tonight I come to find just WHY there's been avoidance between the two of us...it's not anything that I did...it's this town, where she goes to school. She just needed to get out, and get back home (about 5 hours car drive away). I feel like such an ass for being so pushy and overbearing.
I gave her what few words of consolement that I could, but nothing is going to be able to comfort her in this time...she has an important decision to make, and the resulting reprocussions are something that nobody should have to deal with...she has a baby that she doesn't want, and can't take care of, due to school. This friend is fiercely independant, and the 'ball and chain' of such a monumental responsibilty so young in life, is something that would severely weigh down her potential.
As of late, I've kind of given up on prayer...I don't feel like God listens to me...yeah, I go to church, and hang out with the kids from the Singles Branch, but, really, I'm just going through the motions...I've got personal issues that I feel distance me from God...why would he listen to me? He hasn't in the past, and now that I've put more space between the two of us, what right do I have to be heard?
I'm going to try to give it a shot, though. I'm not important enough to be heard, but this friend is...whether it be via proxy, or not, she deserves to have some divine comfort.
She, sadly, is in the same spiritual boat as I am...why would a loving, just, and merciful God ever allow one of his beloved sons to be plagued with Same Sex Attraction? His daughters to be raped, and impregnated against her will, carrying with her the constant reminder of other people's ill use of free will? There are times when I almost wish that the adversary's plan hadn't fallen through, and that we'd all be forced to be perfect...it seems easier in the longrun.
There I go, spouting off heretical nonsense....